My Spouse is becoming very forgetful – What Should I Do?

By Michael G. Kelly, Attorney at Law

Kelly Law and Tax

My spouse is becoming very forgetful about things that would normally be remembered. I’m worried that the cause may be Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia. What should I do?

An obvious first step is to have your spouse checked out by a qualified physician. The doctor can determine what, if anything is actually wrong and recommend treatment. If the doctor’s diagnosis is dementia further legal steps to provide adequate legal protections are necessary.

It is important to have the doctor spell out, as clearly as possible; exactly what your spouse is capable of doing from a decision-making standpoint when the diagnosis is made. For example, can he or she identify and understand the extent of the property he or she owns and who his or her heirs are? Is he or she capable of understanding the nature of a transaction sufficient to enter into a contract? Can he or she identify those whom she trusts enough to manage his or her affairs in order to authorize them to do so?

If the answer to any of the above questions is “yes” then it is imperative to consult an elder and estate planning attorney in order to put your spouse’s legal affairs in order with documents such as Powers of Attorney for financial and medical affairs, wills, trusts, and any other documents which apply to her particular circumstances. By doing this, we can keep your life affairs private and reduce legal fees and court costs.

If the answer to the any of those questions is “no” it may be necessary to go into probate court and petition for a Guardianship and Conservatorship in order to take over management of your spouse’s personal and financial affairs.  This is an expensive, public process that requires ongoing court supervision. This scenario will often occur once a dementia patient progresses to later stages and no longer has the capacity to enter into legal documents that would eliminate the need for a guardianship or conservatorship. This is another reason for consulting a physician and an elder and estate planning attorney as early as possible. It is strongly recommended to have legal documents in place that provide others with authority to act on one’s behalf well before dementia or any other disabling condition rears its ugly head.